Abuse can surface in teen relationships

One+in+three+high+school+students+have+been+physically%2C+emotionally%2C+or+verbally+abused+by+their+partner%2C+according+to+Love+is+Respect.+For+help%2C+contact+reach+out+to+a+counselor%2C+social+worker%2C+or+call+the+National+Abuse+Helpline+at+%28800%29-656-4673.

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One in three high school students have been physically, emotionally, or verbally abused by their partner, according to Love is Respect. For help, contact reach out to a counselor, social worker, or call the National Abuse Helpline at (800)-656-4673.

By Emily Wissemes, Editor in Chief

Dating violence happens in high school and college relationships more often than many tend to believe.

According to Love is Respect, an organization designed to promote healthy relationships, one in three teens will experience physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse by someone they are in a relationship with before they become adults.

“There is a phrase often used in the mental health world that says, ‘Hurt people hurt people.’ Dr. Caroline Leaf states that we are hardwired for love. When someone experiences ‘not love’ and is not able to sufficiently cope with it, they carry that pain within them, which inevitably brings pain in future relationships,” social worker Jeffrey Anderson said.

Abuse can affect all types of relationships, not just long term and can take many forms– physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, financial, and digital abuse.

According to Science Daily, abusers believe that they have the right to control the person they are dating or think they know best.

“I believe that it happens more than it is reported. As a high school social worker, I generally hear about several cases a year, but there are signs that it happens beyond those few reported cases,” Anderson said.

Exposure to violence and the use of violence by young adolescents illustrates that abuse is a learned behavior, according to a study published by researchers at Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center.

Breaking up with someone, while in an abusive relationship, can be more complicated than it seems. According to Love is Respect, fear, believing abuse is routine, embarrassment, low self-esteem, and love can play a significant role in why some stay with their abuser.

“When a child is treated with love and respect the child learns that they are worth loving and respecting.  When they grow up they will expect to continue to be treated that way. If while dating violence was to enter the relationship that person would most likely be able to recognize that it is not something that they should have to put up with,” Anderson said.

According to Anderson, it is important to keep open communication with loved ones and family members, or whoever may be trustworthy and caring. Violence often takes place away from public places.

“It is important for students to learn the concept that you date someone for who they are right now, not who you hope they will become someday.  If a person has anger issues now, don’t date them with the hopes that it will someday change,” Anderson said. “And kids need to know that it is ok to be very clear with someone they are dating that violence is something they will never put up with. Someone who abuses with violence may look for a relationship with someone that is emotionally vulnerable.”  

Love is Respect suggests that if a friend or family member is in an unhealthy relationship, the best thing to do is be supportive and listen and let them know they have a friend.

People seeking help should reach out to a counselor, social worker, or call the National Abuse Helpline at (800)-656-4673.