When most people picture Thanksgiving, they imagine one thing at the center of the table: a perfectly golden-brown turkey. It’s the image plastered across grocery store ads, cooking shows, and Hallmark cards. But somewhere between the thawing, seasoning, basting, roasting, carving, and pretending you like it, many of us have started secretly wondering: does anyone actually enjoy turkey enough for it to deserve this level of national devotion?

It’s Giving… Too Much Work

The iconic Thanksgiving centerpiece needs to become a thing of the past. If turkey were truly as good as some people claim, we would see it appear on dinner tables more than once a year. The simple fact is that cooking such a complicated bird is not worth the time, stress, or oven space it demands from already overwhelmed holiday hosts.

Just thawing a turkey takes 24 hours for every 4–5 pounds, and the average Thanksgiving turkey weighs between 12 and 24 pounds. That is days of prep before you even reach the point of cooking. And the cooking itself? A long, tedious process that leaves the entire house smelling like turkey for hours. Then, after all of that anticipation, you finally take a bite – and it is often underwhelming and nowhere near the high expectations set for the holiday.

If we are being honest, it is incredibly rare to find a person who actually knows what they are doing when cooking a turkey. Because most people only attempt this once a year, they never gain the practice needed to master the technique. And it shows: turkey is notorious for being dry, bland, and difficult to cook evenly. Most of the time, it ends up drier than the Sahara Desert despite the cook’s best intentions.

There are many different ways to prepare a turkey (smoking, frying, baking, roasting), but each method requires time, knowledge, and equipment that the average family simply does not have. Even experts acknowledge how notoriously tricky turkey is to execute properly.

Meanwhile, Turkey Defenders Are Fighting for Their Lives

Of course, not everyone feels this way. Some families pride themselves on their turkey-cooking skills, and occasionally you will come across a household that truly knows what they are doing. For them, Thanksgiving dinner would feel incomplete without the traditional bird.

Some argue that turkey is a symbol of the holiday and that ditching it breaks from American tradition. Others say that with the right technique – and hours of commitment – turkey can turn out moist and flavorful.

But Let’s Be Real: They’re the 1%

However, these families are the exception, not the rule. The average person simply does not have the time or experience needed to cook a turkey properly. That’s why so many turkeys come out either too dry or not cooked enough in certain parts. If a food requires a full internet deep-dive, a hotline, and hours of emotional support to prepare, maybe it is not the best choice for a universally-celebrated meal.

Better Birds (and Non-Birds) Exist

A simple solution exists: stop forcing turkey to be the star of Thanksgiving. There are countless alternatives that are easier to cook, more flavorful, and actually enjoyed year-round. Families could consider:

• Ham – Easier to cook, widely liked, and nearly impossible to ruin.

• Rotisserie chicken – Affordable, already cooked, and consistently juicy.

• Beef roast or tenderloin – Rich, flavorful, and satisfying.

• Vegetarian mains like stuffed squash or mushroom Wellington for families looking to switch things up.

• Or ditch the bird entirely and let the actually delicious sides shine: mashed potatoes, stuffing, rolls, mac and cheese, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce. The real heroes of Thanksgiving.

As a staff, we encourage readers to rethink tradition. Thanksgiving should be about enjoying good food with good people – not anxiously babysitting a 20-pound bird that almost always disappoints.