The effects of addiction on families
About this series:
This article is part of a three-part series by Editor-in-Training Ruby Guerrero, exploring the realities of addiction—from how it affects the brain, to the ways it can reshape families, to one student’s personal reflections on loving someone who struggles.
Read the rest of the series:
• What addition really does to the teenage brain
• The effects of addiction on families
• OPINION: Addiction’s hidden toll
Watching a sibling become consumed by addiction can destroy the bond that once existed. “We locked in, twin,” is how one student described a close sibling relationship – but addiction can change that dynamic completely.
Carmen, whose name has been changed to protect their identity, has a sibling who struggled with substance abuse. “His addiction made our relationship harder. He was not himself anymore,” high school student Carmen said.
Addiction affects every area of a person’s life and the lives of those who care about them. It can destroy someone psychologically, emotionally, financially, and physically. But often, it takes time for family members to recognize the signs. By the time they do, the damage – especially to trust – has already taken root.
Jeremy, whose name has also been changed to protect the student’s identity, has a brother who battled addiction. “It wasn’t fast or nothing like that. It took a long time for us – my parents – to find out. Like, two years, to be honest,” student Jeremy said.
Because substance abuse interferes with the brain’s ability to function and think rationally, mood swings, secrecy, and outbursts become common, especially during withdrawal. This can result in yelling, irrational behavior, and even theft.
“I think growing up with a brother addicted to drugs, I always worried something would happen,” West Chicago Community High School nurse Cathy Collins said. “I also think that the parents start focusing more just on the addicted child.”
This shift in parental attention can create resentment or jealousy. Children who do not struggle with addiction may feel neglected or invisible.
“I still have some resentment towards my brother because I felt like my parents lacked so much love and attention to me and my other siblings,” Carmen said.
When a parent is the one struggling with addiction, the damage runs even deeper. A parent is supposed to be a protector – a safe space. Addiction can destroy that trust entirely.
According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), one in eight children in the U.S. live with at least one parent who has a substance use disorder.
In many of those homes, children are forced to take on adult responsibilities: cleaning up after drinking episodes, helping financially, or canceling their own plans to care for a parent. That pressure can distort how a child forms future relationships.
“When you’re younger, it either makes you grow up quicker or get lost in what’s happening,” Carmen said.
Some children mature too quickly. Others lash out, desperate for attention or structure. Either way, their development is affected.
Children who grow up with a parent who struggles with addiction may also struggle with self-worth, attachment, school performance, and eventually, parenting. According to Health Research Funding, children of alcoholics are four times more likely to become alcoholics themselves.
“I’ve seen kids say, ‘I am not going to be like my mom or dad. I am going to break the cycle’ – but that’s hard to do,” school psychologist Karen Szot said.
But not all are scared straight. When substance use is normalized at home, it becomes easier for kids to follow the same path.
“If parents are okay with smoking weed in the house all the time, the kid is going to get there. It’s going to get there,” said West Chicago police officer Mike Levato.
That kind of normalization can create a dangerous sense of approval or inevitability.
“I think it’s a level of acceptance – that ‘it’s okay’ – that sets the tone for the environment,” Szot said.
And the damage is not limited to the child who ends up using. The emotional weight of addiction impacts everyone living in that household.
“Addiction is absolutely horrible,” Levato said. “It wrecks your family.”
When a child suffers from addiction, it turns the entire family dynamic upside down. Parents, who are used to being the protectors, suddenly feel helpless – and often blame themselves.
They may ask, Was it my fault? What did I do wrong?
As they shift all their attention toward the child struggling with addiction, they often become emotionally distant from their other kids – creating long-term strain across the family.
Parents bear a massive responsibility: to keep their children safe, healthy, and supported. Addiction disrupts all of those goals. And when a child relapses repeatedly, it is easy for guilt to turn into depression or burnout.
This puts parents in an impossible situation: do they keep trying to help, or set boundaries that might push their child away?
Setting firm limits may be necessary for everyone’s safety and well-being – but it can also damage the relationship. Over time, that distance can become permanent.
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