Delightfully Delusional is a Wildcat Chronicle podcast centered on the ramblings of two high school seniors as they examine the news, pop culture, and everyday life. The podcast is linked below, and a transcript is included as well.

This podcast episode features “New Life”, a copyright-free song by Moire obtained from Uppbeat.

Lauren Dusing  00:00

Hey, Michaela!

Michaela Miller  00:01

Hi, Lauren. Welcome to Delightfully Delusional, where we chat about everything from high school chaos to pop culture rabbit holes.

Lauren Dusing  00:07

Basically, we’re here to share our unfiltered thoughts on life’s most random moments and hopefully make you feel a little less crazy in the process. So grab a snack, get comfy and join us for a little bit of delightful delusion.

Michaela Miller  00:30

Okay, care to enlighten us, Lauren? I’m not even sure if this is gonna be allowed to be in the thing, but best place to cry at our school, within our school, okay?

Lauren Dusing  00:42

Like, if we’re talking about, like, school grounds, I would say my car in the parking lot on campus.

Michaela Miller  00:48

Okay. Your car inside entrance B?

Lauren Dusing  00:54

If we’re talking about, like, in physical space in the building…

Michaela Miller  00:59

Yeah. Like, I know there’s no like, great ones, but like the best you can think of.

Lauren Dusing  01:05

Um, honestly, like Mrs. Walters, shout out to her. Love her queen. Like her classroom is so, like, zen, like,

Michaela Miller  01:12

How it’s always dark in there.

Lauren Dusing  01:13

Oh yeah. She never has the overhead lights on, but she has, like, cute, like, lamps,

Michaela Miller  01:16

Big light hater.

Lauren Dusing  01:17

Yes. Love her for that. And she always her classroom gives hoa hoa hoa vibes (see previous episode for reference).

Michaela Miller  01:22

Great. That’s why you like it in there so much.

Lauren Dusing  01:24

I know that is, and then she always has, like, a eucalyptus diffuser on, yes, and it always feels so good. And I also just, like, love her, and she’s just like my school mom and so, like, when I’m there, and if I do have to cry, like, that’s like, a good spot. Also, like bringing myself back to junior math class, I would cry in that classroom. No shame, no shame in it, like –

Michaela Miller  01:42

And you did.

Lauren Dusing  01:43

And I did, and it was fine. Like, yeah.  Slightly embarrassing, but I’m like, I feel like everybody in that class knew that I was, like, struggling at times because of either the math material or the fact that I was a junior in high school and life was rough.

Michaela Miller  01:46

It was a safe space.  Right? Fair.

Lauren Dusing  01:57

And like, you were in that class too, so yeah, I just like, remember, like sitting there and like Vokes being on one side, you being on the other, some type of math review packet and, like, some separate event in my life just all culminating into one silent, maybe not silent, little cry fest –

Michaela Miller  02:16

And some giggles.

Lauren Dusing  02:17

And some giggles.

Michaela Miller  02:18

Moderate giggling.

Lauren Dusing  02:19

Yep.

Michaela Miller  02:19

Um, I don’t think I actually ever cried in that class, like in that class, um, I have in my current math class that was rough. It’s like that, that mean, where it’s like, oh, when you, like, open the test and you realize that, like, You’re, uh, ‘s’ worded, yeah, and I was, I literally, I looked at it, I was like, I did all the work, like I did what I was supposed to do. Why do I still not know what’s going on? But yeah, I would say that is a very solid answer, by the way.

Michaela Miller  02:55

And the oh, the thing with the scent diffusers. I, so, I’m actually with my asthma and stuff, and, like, my weird environmental allergies. I’m actually, like, I’m not allowed to have scent diffusers and like, I’m not supposed to like, be around scent diffusers because they can, like, inflame stuff and make things upset and like, because I have the mixture of the allergies and the asthma and stuff. So when we were in – I’m totally blanking on her first name – Culbertson’s room the other day, and she had the door closed in the lemon scent diffuser on full blast. I was sitting there, like tweaking out. And I didn’t want to be like, ‘Hey, can you turn off your scent diffuser?’ Because everyone else is enjoying it. So I just said, ‘Oh, it smells really good.’ And it did. It did smell really good. It’s just I was sitting there, ‘Ugh!’

Lauren Dusing  03:38

Like breathing?

Michaela Miller  03:41

Smell the good smells, right? Um, but yeah, okay, best place to cry. So I’d say the place I’ve cried the most. Oh no. Well, okay, I say that I haven’t actually like. I feel like I don’t like, I know I don’t cry at school a ton.

Lauren Dusing  04:02

Good for you. Well, like, I can’t relate.

Michaela Miller  04:05

And when I say, I use that as, like, tears will come from my eyes sometimes, like, shedding one or two, right? Like, it’ll be like, but I’m talking about, like, breakdown, sobbing.

Lauren Dusing  04:15

I don’t feel I feel like, like…

Michaela Miller  04:16

I don’t do that very often.

Lauren Dusing  04:18

I feel like I need to clarify so I don’t seem like, unstable. I don’t, like, break down. Like, that probably happens, like, maybe, like, three or four times a year.

Michaela Miller  04:26

Right.

Lauren Dusing  04:26

In the school building, inside the school.

Michaela Miller  04:28

Yeah.

Lauren Dusing  04:28

But like, this is like, other, like, little cry…

Michaela Miller  04:31

Little light crying, yeah.

Lauren Dusing  04:32

That can be just like, I think I’m a slightly emotional person.

Michaela Miller  04:35

Well, and that’s okay. We’re all a little weird, you know?

Lauren Dusing  04:38

Okay, anyways, now we’ve clarified that.

Michaela Miller  04:40

Oh yeah, no, absolutely, I’m talking so, for my, for my answer, specifically, I’m talking, like, uncontrollably, crying, like, ‘Okay, this is a vulnerable moment, okay?’ So, um, I’d say, okay, don’t…

Lauren Dusing  04:54

Are you gonna say the band room?

Michaela Miller  04:55

Don’t – no. Oh my gosh, I would. I would cry in Entrance B before I cried in the band room.

Lauren Dusing  05:01

Literally?

Michaela Miller  05:02

I would, like, That would be horrible. I would never cry. And it’s not even because, like, the people aren’t supportive. Like, a lot of my really good friends are in that class, and like, if I were to, like, if they did see me crying, they’d be like, ‘Oh, like, let me help you,’ like, that kind of thing. Like, you’d be very comforting, really nice. But, like, just like, the idea of standing in this huge like sound, like the room, like, literally has it so that the sound like, Yes, seriously, a sound basin sitting in this giant room with those like, horrible lights, standing in front of like giant instrument or something, because I’m in percussion like, and crying like I can’t even because the thing with like, how band is is, like, you’re all facing the director, so like, she’d be the only one who would see me. Like, so I just be looking forward and like, No, I couldn’t, um, the locker room. No, still probably, probably not, because the lights in there are, like, too horrible. I would literally just wait. Um, I don’t want to get canceled for this. But the gender neutral bathroom in the art department.

Lauren Dusing  06:03

Specifically the…?

Michaela Miller  06:04

Yes, I mean, the one in the history is the nicest gender neutral one. But that’s, I don’t like to go there often, because that’s one that people use a lot. Like, actually, you need to use the one in the art department is so god awful.

Lauren Dusing  06:18

Oh, I know, like I use one during ceramics sometimes.

Michaela Miller  06:21

Yeah, it is so terrible and always littered and full of something that, like, nobody ever wants to go in there unless they’re doing something they’re not supposed to be doing. So that’s why I go down there. Is because I’m like, ‘Oh, I’m not, like, taking it from anyone. So it’s okay if I could cry in here.’

Lauren Dusing  06:35

Good answer. Because, like, no one’s gonna see you. There’s really not many people over there.

Michaela Miller  06:40

No, exactly like, that’s why I feel like, okay, because then when I, like, walk out, I have a couple, it’s like, so far away from all of my classes that I have like, a couple minutes to calm down before I get back to class, you know?

Lauren Dusing  06:49

Okay.

Michaela Miller  06:50

Um, my only other answer than the basic, you know, bathroom, um, would be the stairs, the secret staircase by Begovich’s, his old room. I don’t know what classroom –

Lauren Dusing  07:03

The scary stairs?

Michaela Miller  07:03

Yeah, the ones that lead back behind –

Lauren Dusing  07:05

I know which ones you’re talking about that they’re like, down that weird, long Driver’s Ed hallway. Yeah.

Michaela Miller  07:10

And they, like, lead down, and there’s like, one light in.

Lauren Dusing  07:12

They’re the weirdest stairs I’ve ever seen in my life.

Michaela Miller  07:13

Yeah, once again, no one’s ever in there.

Lauren Dusing  07:15

No.

Michaela Miller  07:16

So, because no – I – people either don’t know it’s unlocked, they don’t know it exists, or they don’t want to use it?

Lauren Dusing  07:21

Yeah.

Michaela Miller  07:21

Um, so that was also safe bet when they have the doors closed, because normally when the doors are closed, you can still get into it, but it’s like, when the doors are open, it’s like, I’m not, yeah, like, I’m not just gonna sit there, because I was just like, in a hallway.

Lauren Dusing  07:34

Yeah, no, no, I feel like that’s a good answer. And – Keeping on the thing of crying.

Michaela Miller  07:46

Right?

Lauren Dusing  07:46

When someone asks you if you’re okay,

Michaela Miller  07:49

Oh my gosh.

Lauren Dusing  07:49

When you’re like, the water works will restart. Like, you can’t say that.

Michaela Miller  07:54

Yeah.

Lauren Dusing  07:55

And that’s why it’s like –

Michaela Miller  07:56

Am I okay? No.

Lauren Dusing  07:57

No, I’m fine. Like, I just like, I just like, that’s like, my default answer is like, I know that I’m not fine. I know that you know I’m not fine, but when you ask me if I’m okay, then I’m not gonna be okay.

Michaela Miller  08:06

Right.

Lauren Dusing  08:07

And I’m like, I’m already not okay, and I’m trying to get over it. And so I just need you to, like, ignore the fact that my face looks like a tomato and my mascara might be running.

Michaela Miller  08:14

Sure, yeah, yeah, right.

Lauren Dusing  08:17

Like, I know that I’m not looking my best, but we just need to move on and, like, do what we’re doing. And like, I’ll be fine in a moment. Terribly.

Michaela Miller  08:25

‘Are you fine?’ ‘Yeah,’ you say as you’re, like, bawling. Like, what?

Lauren Dusing  08:29

My eye’s twitching because I’ve cried so much. Like, yeah, I’m fine. Like, just, let’s just go, yeah.

Michaela Miller  08:36

For clarification, anyone listening, we don’t – we’re okay.

Lauren Dusing  08:39

Oh, fine.

Michaela Miller  08:40

Crying is very normal, especially… If you don’t cry, you should.

Lauren Dusing  08:43

Your crying is very normal.

Michaela Miller  08:46

Don’t let that scare you. Sometimes it was happy tears.

Lauren Dusing  08:55

So awkward.

Michaela Miller  08:57

Silence was loud.

Lauren Dusing  08:58

No, that’s like palpable, and the books, they always say that: ‘the palpable silence.’

Michaela Miller  09:05

That was exactly that was… ‘were happy tears’: complete silence.

Lauren Dusing  09:13

Yeah, like that one time. Oh, wait, yeah.

Michaela Miller  09:15

Oh, like, what? And I literally, the funny thing is, I was literally trying to come up with a percentage in my head.

Lauren Dusing  09:20

And I was like –

Michaela Miller  09:21

I was gonna be like, one in every one in every 100? One in every thousand?

Lauren Dusing  09:26

I was thinking, like, 99.1.

Michaela Miller  09:28

Yeah, like, what’s the percent? What’s the ratio here? Like…

Lauren Dusing  09:31

Like we did both survive junior year and like, it’s fine, like, I’m live laugh loving in my senior year.

Michaela Miller  09:36

Oh, absolutely.

Lauren Dusing  09:37

Like, I don’t have a, I have no reason to cry my senior year.

Michaela Miller  09:39

Well, I’ll find one.

Lauren Dusing  09:41

I know. I’m like, I’ll find one, but like, yeah, no, I’m just like, really trying to think, like, I can’t recall at school, specifically, I can’t recall.

Michaela Miller  09:52

A time you cried from happiness?

Lauren Dusing  09:53

Yeah.

Michaela Miller  09:53

Your junior year?

Lauren Dusing  09:54

My [inaudible] year. Because can you? I’m sure there is a time I’m

Michaela Miller  09:59

It’s just like, the ones that come to mind when I think of crying at school, like, I can’t think of the happy ones, but I can only think of, like, the staring at myself in the mirror, like, losing my mind.  That does come, yeah, you know now that you say that though I 100% that I think I like, I think I cried laughing in pre calc last year.

Lauren Dusing  10:09

The ones that are just like, like, funny when, like, I would be laughing at myself, you would be laughing, and our math teacher would be like, ‘Are you okay? Because you’re like, crying.’ Because it was probably like, because I was like, I know it was like, funny. It was like, funny because I was crying, and what I was crying about was probably not that deep and not that serious.

Michaela Miller  10:31

Right.

Lauren Dusing  10:32

But like, that was just how I expressed it.  Especially when it’s like, the really, those math concepts that I didn’t understand test tomorrow, like…

Michaela Miller  10:35

Right.  What do you mean? What do you mean?

Lauren Dusing  10:42

Because, like, ‘No, I can’t, but it’s fine.’

Michaela Miller  10:45

Because I don’t know what I’m doing. No.

Lauren Dusing  10:47

Yeah. Oh, my God, that was so I actually, like, this is off the record. Can’t wait forfFireman to hear that. I feel as though…

Michaela Miller  10:56

I feel as though, yeah.

Lauren Dusing  10:58

I hope that brings some joy to her day.

Michaela Miller  11:00

Yeah. You know, I’ve almost cried laughing in English this year because our our class is hysterical.

Lauren Dusing  11:05

No, I love that class so much.

Michaela Miller  11:07

I love it. I love the people. I love what we do. I love the teacher. This isn’t even supposed to be like…

Lauren Dusing  11:11

You know, the environment in our classroom…

Michaela Miller  11:13

The vibes are good.

Lauren Dusing  11:14

…brings joy to my heart.

Michaela Miller  11:15

We get to work on our stuff with, like the dim lights and like the little like mood lighting, and listen to our music and type our little responses and stuff, and I love it so much.

Lauren Dusing  11:23

Of course. I enjoy sitting next to you as well. I feel like…

Michaela Miller  11:26

That makes me so happy.

Lauren Dusing  11:27

I can’t even bro like I literally love it. I just love it so much.  And that’s a wrap for today’s episode. Thanks for chatting with us.

Michaela Miller  11:36

If you liked what you heard –  Or even if you didn’t, feel free to hit that subscribe button and stick around.

Lauren Dusing  11:40

We’ve got plenty more ramblings where this came from.

Michaela Miller  11:43

And if you’re feeling extra generous, leave us a review.

Lauren Dusing  11:45

We’ll see you next time on Delightfully Delusional.