Water guns. Floaties. Stealth takedowns in the middle of parking lots.
This spring brought the return of the viral game of “Senior Assassin“, which first emerged on WEGO’s campus in 2021, just after the pandemic, although the game’s first recorded experience was during the 1980s, believe it or not. Since then, Senior Assassin has become a sensation, and many schools across the nation have participated.
The rules are simple; contestents pay a minimal entry fee to play. The gamemaster (this year, senior Jack Walsh) pairs up two people at random, and announces the targets at the start of each week: one has to survive and the other one has to hunt.
With more than 90 participants this year, whittling down the least of kills to a top five was no simple feat, and yet, it must be done. Without further ado, here are the best takedowns during the spring 2024 game:
#5 He’s not lying
While it might seem like the ‘best’ kill of the game would be the winning one, in this case, the game resulted in a draw – in other words, the last kill was non-existent. As such, the #5 spot was a toss-up between senior Dana Tomasevic, who was walking into a restaurant with her family when Carly Clemens eliminated her. It was obvious Tomasevic – and her mom – had no idea what was going on. As Tomasevic wrote on the official Instagram page, “I was just tryna go to dinner with my family.”
But, ever so slightly, Hector Velasquez’s takedown of fellow senior Ingrid Solis beat out the Tomasevic kill. At one point, Velasquez was considered by Walsh to be the “dark horse” that might win it all.
Solis was finishing up a meal at Chipotle with her soccer teammates when Velasquez waltzed into the restaurant, water gun in hand. Solis spotted him immediately, accused him of lying, and then took the hit, as there was nowhere to go.
Warning: vulgar language used in video
#4 Briana Guerrero is not your ‘bro’
Briana Guerrero is not the sweet-natured student she appears to be; this senior is the type of person who will sit right beside someone, pretending to help them, all while scheming to take them done. Poor Alan Munoz never had a chance – he followed Guerrero’s every command as she acted as if she was helping him escape his target. While Munoz was crouched down in the backseat of a car, Guerrero struck, hitting him in the shoulder with a stream of water.
While students like senior David Terrazas called for justice on the Senior Assassins Instagram account, others lauded Guerrero for her stealth kill.
#3 A killer workout for Reily Juarez
While there were numerous kills at the gym, perhaps none so easy as senior Pablo Salinas’ takedown of Reily Juarez. Salinas walked up nonchalantly behind Juarez, who was simply trying to get in a couple of reps before over spring break. Juarez had clearly forgotten there was a game going on, as he never noticed Salinas withdrawing a water gun from his background. Juarez visibly flinches as the ever-so-calm Salinas plants a hand on his shoulder before squirting Juarez with water. This was an easy kill, and a reminder that the game is never over…until it’s over.
#2 End of the road for Aidan Gerster
Although later in the game it would become quite common for WEGO students to hide in cars (or open car doors – while people’s mothers were behind the wheel…), senior Clarissa Alvarez was the game-changer who started this trend. She holed up in the trunk of a car (well, it was a hatchback trunk, but still!) until fellow senior Aidan Gerster climbed into the passenger seat. Alvarez waited a moment – perhaps to get her camera ready to capture the moment – and then attacked. Gerster was completely unsuspecting, and clutched her floaty – no longer on – as Alvarez made her kill.
#1 Regan Miessler is the third wheel
Senior Regan Miessler has no problem crashing a friend’s date if it means she can take out a target: knowing pal Leah Stetsik was headed out to brunch, Miessler followed, and went so far as to go into the restaurant – water gun in hand – to squirt the unsuspecting Stetsik while in the middle of awkward “getting-to-know-you” conversation. What makes Miessler’s kill even more worthy is that it was the first of the game, and occurred just an hour in.
Miessler would end up going four rounds, which is impressive as well. She was ultimately defeated by senior Anthony Hinojosa, who sprang from a school bus to kill Miessler as she walked across the parking lot outside Entrance B.
