Turkey, the face of the American tradition/holiday known as Thanksgiving. With many options upon which to feast at the typical Thanksgiving table, inevitably, the turkey is left largely untouched. Why?

Let’s be frank: turkey just does not taste good by itself, so people opt for more savory (or sweet) options such as stuffing or tamales. Turkey is really just an off-brand hunk of chicken that is foul (or fowl?) in every way possible. Yet, millions of Americans continue to bring turkey to the Thanksgiving table.

Turkey’s taste is bland no matter how and what is used to cook it. Sure, in recent years people have started deep frying their turkeys, or even throwing them on the grill, but these methods will never be able to satisfy the feasters, which is embarrassing. All that effort, thrown down the garbage disposal.

“It’s almost impossible to roast a whole turkey (or 20-pound-plus anything) without overcooking it to the point of its being inedible. They’re just too damn big. And as a big whole turkey cooks, the moisture inside it escapes,“ Brian McManus, reporter for Vice, said.

And let’s say the turkey is cooked the right way (impossible): the amount of preparation and seasoning this bird needs just provide a slightly decent taste is way too much effort for meat that is drier than the Sahara desert.

“Why is Thanksgiving turkey so bland? Turkeys, unlike pig and beef, are lean. Without all that fat, cooking them long enough to safely heat the center of the bird bleeds the meat of its moisture and dries it out,” Isaac Eger, writer for Sarasota Magazine, said.

Big question: why is turkey so low in quality compared to its birdie buddies, like chicken? Mainly because Thanksgiving turkeys are bred to grow much larger than their intended size. Turkey became a cheap/affordable option in stores compared to all of the other meats, and they do provide good value in terms of price per pound. But, the phrase “quality over quantity” strikes in terms of a turkey’s size and value versus taste. Although a turkey offers a lot more suitable meat to feed a whole family, it is ironic that almost no one even lays a hand on that gross bird.

Other cultures substitute turkey for other meats, and do so for good reason. In Mexican culture (where this writer is from), families eat pork instead of turkey which is way better in every way possible.

Or, if not meat, then pumpkin pie should be the face of Thanksgiving (hot take)? This dessert is also superior to turkey, and is certainly consumable. Plus, pumpkin pie actually makes people happy: they love layering on the whipped cream and devouring the graham cracker crust. Whoever made turkey the face of a joyful holiday like Thanksgiving granted families created a tragedy.

Turkey is really only on the Thanksgiving table for show not for consumption. Keep it away. Eat pork and pumpkin pie instead, and bring happiness back to the holiday.